A Single Middle-Aged Woman...

This shit is hard.  I totally did not adhere to the schedule this weekend. Friday night I was up late... Ray Wiley Hubbard concert at Gruene Hall. Saturday morning...slept until 9-ish (a.m., not p.m.) 😜 Saturday night...I worked at my 2nd job until 9 p.m.  Ate a late night snack and I think I went to bed around midnight.  Jeez...middle-age sometimers again...I forget exactly. Sunday morning...up before 9. Sunday evening...dinner out with my daughter, ignored the 9 pm alarm to begin my bedtime routine and instead stayed up late watching "Chernobyl."  That's some grim stuff there, but interesting all the same. Monday morning (Memorial Day holiday)...up again around 9 a.m. Monday evening...will likely be a little late starting my bedtime routine because the family is meeting for dinner to celebrate my daughter's 37th birthday, (she will be out of town on her actual birthday, so we're doing it early). A negative verbal exchange where my daughter, who is curr...

Faltering...that's how I describe this little exercise as I close out my second week...it has been two weeks, right?  I checked, yes. Another annoying symptom of middle-age...remembering, or the lack of, I should say.  I think it's not because I can't, it is because I have so many electronic tools at my fingertips nowadays, that I just don't HAVE to.  Once upon a time, I could recite all my family and friends phone numbers and birthdates without so much as glancing at a calendar or address book...oh, I knew their addresses too!  Not today; not without my phone or laptop and internet.  It's sad really, and reconcilable, but that's not what we're here for. Today, we talk sleep or the lack there of, and will I continue to falter, or hang tough? I'm not really sleep deprived.  I have been pretty faithful to being in bed right around 10 p.m., give or take 10 minutes.  I read a page or three and then lights out. I'm probably getting more sleep, or ...

One week in and so far so good. Granted, I stayed up late on Friday night, but Saturday night I was in bed by 9:30.  I also did not set the alarm on Saturday or Sunday morning, but was up before 9 a.m. both mornings, which means I slept almost 11 hours Saturday night! So, here's a dilemma...what do I do this summer when I'm off contract and I don't have to be a work every day and every night is essentially a weekend night?  Do I stick with my 10 p.m. bedtime, 5:15 a.m. morning alarm?    I have plans to build a patio, by myself might add, but in Texas, one cannot live long doing that in the afternoon, so maybe there's my answer...my motivation to rise early, work on the patio before the heat sets in...which in July is 10 a.m.  Yeah, no shit.  Already, this morning when I went out to cover up the 'whatever it's called that my chimes bang against,' so they wouldn't wake my neighbors, it felt too warm to me, for 5:30 a.m., that is.  So, July's going ...

The sun rose while I was in H-E-B! I laid back down after getting up to turn off the alarm, only for a couple of minutes, but still... Don't do that!  Luckily, I was resolute enough not to be tempted to fall back asleep and made myself rise and, if not shine, then at least fake it. This morning I decided to use as motivation, my disdain for grocery shopping at busy times of day, to go pick up a few things at the store.  I admit, it was worth it.  No crowds, quiet, quick check-out...all good, except, and not really an exception as it was more of a 'duh' moment when I thought I'd forgotten to put my apple empanada in my bag so I circled back through the parking lot, ran to the cashier only to discover it wasn't there.  Back at the car, one more glance into my bag revealed I'd put it in there after all. Short post today.  Just a little H-E-B adventure to tell.

Day two: I'm going to need a nap today. I won't get one, unless I take it after work but then that would interfere with my bedtime...so no nap.  I'll power through.  I woke 10 minutes before my alarm went off and made the mistake of lying back down for those glorious 9 minutes.   I've read that when you wake alert like I just described, you should NOT lie back down.  It appears someone has done this before. I was alert the first time...second time...not so much.  I'm groggy, even with 12 oz of coffee, a donut and sitting in my car by the Blanco River watching the sun light up the cliff as it rose. Yesterday, was different.  I wanted to lie back down after the alarm went off at 5:15, but I resisted in spite of not having slept very well.  It was like my brain knew I was going to throw it into a tailspin by getting up almost 2 hours earlier than usual, so it wouldn't settle down.  Instead, I seemed to have been half asleep most of the night....

I'm not a morning person...never have been.  It could be my DNA but both my parents were early risers, so I don't know from whom I would have inherited this trait.   However, I believe humans have an enormous capability to change almost anything about their habits, IF, they're willing to.   Therein lies the rub of becoming an early riser...am I willing?  What is my motivation for rising early?   I say I like to sleep but that's antithetical because if I liked to sleep, wouldn't I go to bed as early as possible and still sleep as late as possible?  But I don't go to sleep early.  I like to stay awake until midnight and rise when the sun is bright and high in the sky around 8:00 - 8:30 in the morning.   Even on a cloudy day, say on a Saturday morning like today, I still rise naturally around 8:00-8:30 after having gone to bed around midnight last night. So, does that mean I have a natural circadian rhythm?...