I quit my special ed teaching job

By -
Have I lost my mind?  I resigned in June and I still have no job offers.  What's wrong with me?  Why can't I get a job?  Did I just make the biggest mistake of my life?  I just couldn't take the stress any more.
Teaching is great. The kids are great.  I miss them.  I miss the camaraderie with some of my parents and colleagues.
What I don't miss is the paperwork, the constant stress and deadlines and data collection and progress reporting and lesson planning from scratch with no curriculum framework and bosses who are titty babies or self-important assholes!
What am I going to do now?  I put in an average of 20 + hours a week applying for jobs, sending emails, following up on emails.  I have had half a dozen interviews or the promise of them and no job offers.
Every lead I follow is a dead end.  Every single one of them!  Nobody wants me.  What am I going to do?
Have a I screwed the pooch?  I know I can't go back to the classroom.  I just can't.
Every time I think of it my guts knots up and I feel sick with dread.
Maybe I'd be better off as an admin assistant.  Maybe I'm just not cut out to be a boss.
I know I could be an assistant principal.  I know I could make decisions and get along with staff and motivate them because I would do with them what the school districts want to do with students...put them in charge of their own learning.  Empower them to be the teacher leaders they are.
Nobody wants to hear that though. I don't think.
i just don't have the energy for it anymore.
I am depressed, deflated and nearly defeated.
But, I'll get up tomorrow and apply for more jobs.  I'll go on the interview on Tuesday for the nanny position.
I'll keep on keeping on, as we used to say in the 70's, because that's just what I do.
Just what am I going to keep on doing?  That's the big question.  God only knows.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

She wakes

By -
She wakes from the animated , sexy dream about him again. He's one of two men she's ever dreamt about like that. The dreams come so easily, so unexpectedly. They set her mind to wondering "what if" thoughts. She doesn't want to think "what if" thoughts about him; especially not him. Telling herself she won't be like all the other women in his life...not the ones who raped his trust, and not the foolish ones who chase him. She loves him. He loves her. They are friends. Just friends. Friends who have an inappropriate amount of sexual tension between them. He was so animated and funny and uninhibited, which made him nearly irresistible. He danced naked in front of her. Not a serious, seductive male stripper kind of dance. He danced a playful, teasing dance, wagging his naked penis at her, enticing her to do fun things to it. She laughed. She fought to resist. She felt pulled towards his dancing naked penis as if it were the negatively ...
Read more

Becoming an Early Riser 015

By -
I'd say by now, in spite of the occasional sleep-ins, that I am officially "trained" in the brain to wake before dawn...wake, not rise.  I can go back to sleep, especially if I was awake until midnight.  Even when I manage to sleep beyond that, I still wake and rise with the light of day, almost regardless of what time I went to bed....lamps not so much, though I have the timer on one to pop on at 5:30, except on holidays and weekends.   Thus, my sleep-in days are still early by some standards, rising between 7 and 8 a.m. depending on the season and when the sun rises. As I've stated in previous posts, I am not by nature a "pre-dawn" early riser, but I would say I am now at middle-age, an early riser.  I no longer sleep until noon.  My body won't let me and my ocular nerves sense the light of the sun beaming against the back of my light blue curtains covering my Northeast facing bedroom windows as it makes its way up and over the horizon.  Were I in a...
Read more

Prelude

By -
For quite some time now I've wanted to write a column addressing the issues that I, as a single middle-aged woman, face. Having no more writing experience than being a life-long journal keeper and a couple of college journalism courses, I make no claims that what you will read is going to polished or professional. What you will find, if I meet my goal, is candor and honesty...an unveiled attempt at exposing the joys and frustrations that I, and women of a certain age like me, face day in and day out as we journey through these murky middle-aged waters alone. Alone for a whatever reason.... separation, divorce, death, never having found the one , a few by choice but pretty much all of us just damn unlucky in love. It is my sincere hope that within these pages, you the reader, will find comfort, enlightenment, and humor. Abadoning pretense and form, I will attempt to communicate from my perspective and my life experiences, as well as those of the women I know, that happen to plague ...
Read more